It's Not a Goodbye, It's a See You Later

As most of you know, my brother left on a 2 year mission to a group of islands that show up as a speck on the map. Additionally, my sister and I have both left home and are now 18 hours away from home and live in a different timezone.
For 18 years, I have had my family's constant companionship. I love living with my family, and some might say that I am a homebody. To be honest, the most fun, caring, and hilarious people I have ever met just happen to be the ones that I share a last name with. I count my blessings that I grew up in such a wonderful home environment where saying good-bye is so hard.
Before my dad dropped Matthew off at the MTC (the place where missionaries learn the language and other skills before they get to their final destination), the triplets plus my dad went out to breakfast. IT WAS SO SAD! Seriously, inside I felt like I was shriveling up inside. All of my problems with school (which aren't many) seemed so childish. My brother was literally leaving for two years, and I was worried about a stats class?!
After a solemn ( and teary) breakfast, we dropped Chloë off so she could get to class, but not before I demanded one last triplet hug. Even sitting here now, I still can't fathom that I may not be able to do that again for two years. When Matthew dropped me off at my dorm, we walked all the way from the parking lot to the front door. That walk felt like it was two seconds long. I didn't cry, but I was really, really close.
Later that night, I called my dad and told him how upset I was that they made us triplets, which sounds silly now (but makes sense if you have a multiple). Just imagine losing a limb, or some object that you use every day and is important to you- and then not having it.
I am so thankful that Matthew has decided to serve a mission, and I love telling people about the crazy place where he'll serve, but at the same time I just want to be able to pick up my phone and tell him a crazy joke. I guess I'll just have to save them all up for two years.

The Audacious Adventures of MBE

Wow. This place feels like home.
A home that I have completely neglected for almost an entire year. However, the best part about a home is that it wherever and whatever you make it. And I am so excited to say that I am back (hopefully at least for the near future).
I honestly don't know what this blog will be about. My thoughts? My writing? Some cool art or more adventures I've had? I can't really see myself becoming famous or getting sponsorships or being published and famous, but I can see myself posting my true thoughts.
I don't know who will see my words, but I hope that whoever is reading this will see who I am through my thoughts. Even if nobody sees this, I can't wait to see my creative life.

Sleep

Her heart broke into a million jagged pieces. She felt as if it was blown to smithereens, shards of red tissue littering the cold tiles of the bathroom. Gasping for air, she opens the window, the chilly air of January blasting her face, making her feel something while at the same time numbing her. Wordless sobs and shrieks are shouted into the breeze, lost in translation.
What did I do wrong? Why did he go?
A million thoughts swirl around her brain like a cotton-candy machine, raging inside such a small space. After heaving her last shouts, she leaves the window open, the white currents swirling matching what is going on inside her. Without taking off her day clothes, she climbs wordlessly into her queen bed with Egyptian cotton sheets and white down comforter tucked around her. With all her words gone and used up, she tries to drift into a sleep, but fails. Dried mascara is caked in lines down her face, creating a permanent reminder of what tragedy had happened earlier. That night, she can't seem to feel comfortable or cozy. She is suddenly created with the harsh cold of the open window, the blank white walls, and lack of life in her residence. Outside, she hears the noise of the city, the vibrancy of the lights casting a spotlight on all the life that is taking place outside her door. It is almost like the city itself is mocking her--her pain, all the destruction that had taken place that night. Trying desperately to lull herself to the sweet release of sleep, she remembers all the good times, the late summer nights that smelled like hope, the butterflies that hatched in her stomach, and the laughs that left her ribs aching, lungs struggling for air.
She fell asleep with a smile and mascara tears on her face.

Rainy Days

The brownstone glistens from the rain, shimmering from the light coming from the lamposts dotting the streets. Even though the street is busy, because after all, the city never sleeps, on the sidewalk is a different story. Since the pavement is also equally coated with rain, the gravel crunches under each footstep, reminding the person that at any moment, they could lose their step. Even though the sky is pitch black, you can tell that the clouds are threatening to spill over at any moment and unleash the biggest storm that only happens during the winter.
If one was to watch through a taxi cab window, they would see the scurry of pedestrians trying to avoid the sprinkling and misting of the rain. For others that are more prepared, their umbrellas act like a beacon in the crowd, with polka dots to plain black designs letting outsiders catch a glimpse of who they are. From that window, you might also see some taking their time, relishing every moment in the rain. For those rare people, their good fortune is the bad luck of the majority.
As on all rainy days, comfort is the priority. Whether it is taking off damp socks after reaching a destination, wearing blankets draped around our bodies like expensive fur capes, or eating a hot meal, we all search for comfort.
On these days, we revert back to our youth, were only the necessities of life made us excited. We want for nothing more other than something cozy and warm, and nothing more than that.
As that brownstone glistens, the inhabitants of the building are curled up, reading a book, eating, watching a movie, or maybe staring out the window, watching the pattering of rain. In all their minds, nothing could get better than this moment, right here, right now.